9

my procrastination has reached an all-time high. haaaaaay. i've put off many priorities for so long (thesis, collarbone project, etc.) and i've over-indulged shamelessly. time to move.

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bes wondered in her plurk if it's break-up season. i had to agree, i have several friends who are right smack in the middle of this tightrope experience; and then i got to look back on my break-up seasons. oh yes. plural. the horror.

i rarely open the ex files anymore because they (people, feelings, circumstances) are all irrelevant to my life already. i don't see them anymore; i don't remember the nitty-gritties of the relationships nor the break-ups; bygones are bygones. this is the fast-forward state that i've been praying for all those emo times that i was crying my eyes and runny nose off. akalain mo nga naman, it is possible pala. loving, and being loved, can be a blessed experience. not doh-easy, not painless--- but at the very least, free of unnecessary drama.

but then there are still floo-powder stations that transport you to the past, and well, you just welcome the experience and look around awkwardly. for example, whenever i hear or see starscream (yes, the transformer, oh the weirdness.) i remember how *darthvader* almost convinced me to name my future child after a decepticon. whenever i listen to 89.1 dreamsounds, i have a flashback of all-nighter phonecalls with (dare i say it? this is still a regulated blog anyway.) *rustom* and falling blindly into the most torturous relationship i've had. when i find myself in these memories, i hardly recognize them anymore, i hardly recognize the me then anymore.

and i take that as a good thing. i'm thankful for how much JC has blessed my life, how he has changed me for the better, how he puts up with me, how he walks me through real love in all its beauty and gore, and how he makes me fall in love with him more and more each day. ano ba, chuvachuchu talaga ito mga ateng at koyang. aylabet!

as in yung level na kung gusto nyang ipangalan ang magiging anak namin after OPTIMUS PRIME, gagawin ko. at least autobot and the most macho of them all!

(but i think that's mostly because i'm in luuuurve with papa optimus also. ahahay!)

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wah! naalala ko tuloy yung kid ko two years ago.

who could give a word that starts with O? :)
- tichaaa! OCTOPUS PWIME!

i want to meet my kids already!!! Lord please make Feria go away!!!